Tuesday, May 27, 2008

The real countdown begins...

In four days life will be a bit different
In four days life will be officially different
In four days I will marry my best friend
Time flys so fast
The planning, the paying, the laughing and crying
So much has happened in the past 8 months
The last little details that need to be tended to
Family and friends coming from all around
I can't wait for the fun that we've got planned
Thank you so much to all that have helped
Physically, emotionally and spiritually
You are all amazing

Thursday, May 22, 2008

New lil one HNT

Sleepy Freddy... he's crazy but sweet!
Happy HNT! :)

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

You say it every day
but when I see it in your eyes like this
it makes my knees tremble

You make life so sweet
everyday I am with you
and it makes my heart flip

You make me a lucky woman
and there will never be enough thank yous uttered
and I am so glad we have one another.


Thursday, May 15, 2008

Da Count- one of the most amazing women I know

Always head strong

always smiling

always with a secret

You amaze me

you make it all good

i love you

this one's for you


Not understanding...

That's about where I've been now for two days. Yes I am planning a wedding, yes it will be stressful, yes I have been more organized than ever with this whole process. So why then is it so stressful? Outside influences/ obsticles/ people/ words.

Not that outside mind you, they are from family. A family that I put all of my love and free time into because they are my family, because I love them enough to do that. What do you need- okay I'm there, I can't be there in 2 hours how about 3? You're down in the dumps, let me take us for pretty toes...

Yesterday was especially difficult. I run so hard and so long sometimes, and need to not, but am never "allowed" not to by the family. When things are done for me, I day thanks more than I probably should and am always answered with not a "you're welcome" but with "you had better be, especially with how much money and time was spent on you."

I stopped asking for anything. My wants and needs are simple. I have asked very little of them with the up coming events and still get shit. They were upset with this because I wouldn't let them control how my one day was going to be, the fact that what Fishstick and I want is simple and fun. No no no that's not how it is to be.

I'm a fish swimming upstream, against the crowd most of the time. I don't do the status quoe it's just not me. I don't feel like I need to be a sheep and to do something just because it's "the way things are done"- f That.

Talking to a girlfriend last night made me realize how lucky I am that I get to start my own family. That we get to set a pace, set the mood for how our family is- although it's just us and the kitties, small but filled with so much love.

Friendship, love, listening, patience and consideration for one another. That's what I want. Guilt and greed are horrid. They make me cringe and make my tummy hurt, as well as my heart.

I can't change them, I can however distance myself. But I can make my new forming family something people are going to want to be with.

Friday, May 09, 2008

DaCount- Focus

Since we were small, my sister has always been so very driven, so focused on everything. It started with tap dancing, then school, then ballet, running for student government, SAT scores, getting into college, and finally maintaining as a college student. Now shes looking at post grad programs to jump into.
She has always been a bit more black and white, level headed- I'm the emotional one. I haven't ever envied something more in a person.
It has taken me so much longer to find a prize to keep my eye on, and to work my ass of for it.
So heres to Nanner, and her focus, and to me finding mine! :)

Thursday, May 08, 2008

Potter HNT

I got the special edition hard bound- 7 book collection last October, and I have 150 pages left to read. It has been an amazing series.....
what am I gonna read next!!!
HHNT! :)

Tuesday, May 06, 2008

Fuck fucking fuck fuck fuck

k I feel better

now something happy....

Monday, May 05, 2008

Thursday, May 01, 2008







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